Under the silver moon
by xXxGinryuuxXx
Summary: Kurogane spoke the vows of loyalty to his princess and Fai heard. Now that they have returned to Nihon, Tomoyo tries to make everything right again. KuroFai with a side of helpful!Tomoyo


A/N: So, this is my first attempt at a romance story...and I probably didn't do the best of jobs. But I tried...hope it turned out better than I expected.

Under the silver moon

The day was growing old and the moon peeked around a few wisps of clouds, as if it wanted to make sure the time for its arrival was there. The warm summer air cooled down to a soft breeze that ran over skin like the featherlight touch of a lovers hand. Cicadas chirped happily in the tall grass by the wayside, not caring who passed them or listened. Fireflies swayed in a hypnotic dance over fields and gardens, flowers and ponds, and under the appearing stars as if they wanted to become one with them.

It was the hypnotic dance of light that kept Princess Tomoyo and her companion out in the gardens of Suwa castle. She could feel the wind play with her long midnight hair, could smell the long grasses and flowers all around her and could hear the silent ripple of a fountain nearby. Everything was bathed in the soft, silver glow of the moon that had silently, and unbeknownst to anyone chased the sun of it's place in the sky for the night. It gave everything a sense of unearthliness, as if she has slipped into dreams without her noticing.

She had left her pompous, formal kimono behind in favor of a summer yukata, in light pink with a swirling blue flower design. She sneaked a glance at the one sitting next to her. Legs propped up comfortably beside him and leaning on his left arm sat Fai D. Flourite, the priest and treasured citizen of the Suwa province. Since her most trusted warrior, Kurogane of Suwa, had returned from the long journey she had send him on and which he had finished of his own free will, he and Fai had settled down in the newly reconstructed Suwa and made the land flourish again, together with everyone who had once left it behind. Now, after a year of important meetings between Amaterasu, Tomoyo's sister and empress of Nihon, and Kurogane himself, they had finally settled the official part of reviving the province and Tomoyo wanted to stay just a little longer to enjoy the pulsing energy of life here.

And she wanted to talk to the mage lounging next to her on the wooden deck, almost glowing in the moonlight and pulsing with a magic she never imagined anyone could possess. Right now his glittering blue eyes were trained on the dark sky, a faraway look on his face and a soft smile on his lips. He was dressed in a midnight blue yukata with the image of two cranes taking flight which accented his, for men and women alike, alluring form perfectly. Tomoyo had been thinking if he had chosen this design unconsciously, to represent the two children he had come know through unfortunate circumstances and watched grow up over the last few years. She could only imagine how close he held Syaoran and Sakura to his heart, how watching them mature and develop mentally as well as emotionally must have felt for him. But she could imagine, that he was proud of them after they spread their wings for the first time.

She smiled softly at the man next to her, slightly startled when his blue eyes suddenly met hers.

"You seem happy, Tomoyo-chan", he said quietly but with a gentle edge to it that made Tomoyo's smile widen. She was still surprised by how fast he had learned the language here and found his accent, a slight stretching of syllables that made it almost sound like a song, fascinating.

She giggled softly into her sleeve. "I am, Fai-san", she confirmed. "It is such a beautiful night and I am in good company. Why shouldn't I be happy?"

Fai chuckled. "True…I _am_ great company", he teased her, playing innocently with a strand of his pale golden hair.

"You flatter yourself again, my dear mage", she chided with a very un-princess like grin. "But, I can sense a that something is bothering you beneath that smile."

Fai's smile dimmed down and he tilted his head slightly. "What do you mean?" he asked and sounded genuinely surprised.

Tomoyo's eyes softened. "I may not be able to read you like Kurogane can", she said and touched his pale hand gently with her own. "But I can still see far enough into you to know that something is not right. Not since your last night at Shirasagi, so long ago. It must have been lying dormant until you returned…until you lay your eyes on me once more." This was the real reason she had stayed behind after her sister had left, to finally reveal what was bothering the ethereal mage. She had an idea what it was but she had to make sure. "You are not an open book to me, like you are to Kurogane, but as a former dreamseer I possess knowledge of human nature so defined that I can see the signs. Please, don't hide it from me."

Fai sighed with a bright smile but avoided any eye contact with her. "You're right, something has been bothering me", he said cheerfully, following a small firefly with his eyes. "It is something that happened a long time ago, something that shouldn't affect me anymore. So don't worry about it, Tomoyo-chan. It's not your fault."

Tomoyo studied him carefully as he straightened himself, abandoning the relaxed pose and sitting up with his hands clasped in his lap loosely. She took in every small movement, every muscle that moved…she could read him, even if he tried to hide everything behind the mask Kurogane hated so much and had tried to crush so many times. But Fai had more than the ones the shinobi had stepped on and ground into dust, all carefully tucked away in his heart and soul, where Kurogane couldn't reach. In this very moment, he tried to mask the pain that lay behind his eyes with a smile that should calm her worries, but she still saw the claws that dug into his heart. And she could see that it was because of what she had said, what she had made Kurogane say out of loyalty to her.

"Yes, it is", she finally said. "It is my fault that you feel the need to hide behind those smiles once more." His eyes flickered toward her once but then he went back to gazing at the beautiful gardens and so she decided to speak what was on her mind, what she had suspected since she had met him again. "It is about the vows he spoke to me that night before you left for Clow Country…the ones you heard while passing by."

He stiffened. The smile froze on his lips for a moment before it fell away and a defeated look replaced the faked cheerfulness. "You noticed." It wasn't a question, but a sad realization.

Tomoyo nodded. "Yes, I did. I noticed your presence only seconds before he spoke…I am sorry you had to hear."

Fai shook his head, a warm smiled settling back on his lips. Dimmed with sadness though it was, it was real. He knew it wasn't her decision but the shinobi's. "Don't apologize for something you could not control."

Tomoyo swallowed back the tears she felt welling in her eyes at the smile, so sad but so heartbreakingly beautiful at the same time. She could see clearly now, everything he felt reflected in the blue depths. Pain, loneliness, betrayal, self-loathing, selfishness, selflessness…and love. The vow of her guard had ripped something inside him, something that made him feel unwanted and left alone and she knew he felt stupid for believing that there had been anything between himself and Kurogane.

"You think that what you have been telling yourself was all a sweet lie, don't you?", she asked gently, laying her hand on top of his again.

A humorless chuckle left his lips. "Is that not what it was? A sweet lie I told myself because I couldn't face the truth? The truth that it was and always will be one-sided?"

Now those blue eyes were glazed over with unshed tears.

Tomoyo squeezed his hand slightly. "It was no self-delusion", she said softly. "He tied himself to you so you could stay alive and he sacrificed his arm so he could take you with him. This is not something he would do for just anyone."

Fai shrugged. "It is something he would do for a trusted companion, though."

The princess felt her heart constrict with sympathy. She had heard from Kurogane many times, that the mage held no love for himself and could not imagine that anyone could love him. Looking at his past, she understood but didn't agree.

"I know him", she said. "He is selfish, rude and has a bad temper. He doesn't show respect for anyone, not even the empress herself and would rather spend his days training than having to talk to anyone. He was never one to work well with anyone and would never sacrifice himself for them."

"You make him sound like a horrible person", Fai said with a chuckle that was genuinely amused.

"I really do…and once he really was", she answered with a soft smile. "But now he has changed. He is still as rude and has the same explosive anger but it feels different. I doubt he would give a limb for any guard he used to work with and he is still horribly selfish…but he overcame all this for you. For you he became selfless…or even more selfish, it depends on how you look at the situation."

A soft breezed pulled at long tresses as dark as the night and soft strands as bright as the sun, playing with them softly and carding through them like someone would to a child, awoken by a nightmare. Tomoyo reached over and tucked a bit of Fai's hair behind his ear. "When he is around you, he acts differently. In the past, if someone had mocked him like you do today, he would have attacked them with all his strength. In the beginning he probably threatened you too but didn't do you any harm because he figured you would be of use one day."

Fai chuckled again. "Sounds about right."

She ignored the comment. "But now he barely reacts, it is more of a habitual responds. When you said that you would pay the price for his arm, he looked worried…do you understand what I am saying?"

A slow nod. "You're saying that he changed because of me."

"No, I am saying he changed _for_ you."

A silence fell over them, only interrupted by the cicadas song, the croak of a frog and the sound of a wind chime a few feet away. Tomoyo could see the thoughtful look on the mages face and waited for him to make up his mind. But he didn't say anything for a long time, so she resorted to the only thing she could think of that might convince him.

"The vows he spoke", she started slowly, drawing the mage back to the hear and now. "With them he swore that his everything belongs to me, everything that he is. But when I showed him a way to save him, I asked him he wished for this with all his heart. And he did."

A surprised gasp.

"The everything he promised me was his body, his strength, his protection…but nothing more. Because his heart and soul already belonged to you."

And then the tears fell. Fai pressed a hand over his lips to suppress the sobs that shook his slight frame but it was no use. She could still hear them clearly.

He finally understood. He finally saw that it had not been a lie, that it had not been a dream but reality. He had finally broken the barrier of his believe in his own worthlessness that had kept him from the truth.

Everything he had always thought to be his own delusion had been proven to be the complete opposite. Now it all made sense; the lingering gazes, the steady presence at his side, the selfless sacrifices and constantly being told to drop the act and be real. And why Kurogane had never given up on him, what the emotions swimming beneath the surface of the blood red meant and exactly why he had never given up on him.

"How could I be so stupid?" he gasped between sobs, curling in on himself. "Oh Gods, how could I be so blind?! Damn it!" Tomoyo suppressed her own tears and leaned over to rub the blonds back soothingly.

They sat like this for a few minutes in the sweet smelling night air, amongst the dozens of fireflies who seemed to dance just for this moment. And then the quiet was torn apart by the sound of heavy footsteps coming towards them. Only seconds later Kurogane rounded a corner, red eyes zoning in on them.

* * *

Kurogane shoved the huge - not so much - mountain of scrolls into the waiting arms of a servant and growled at the man to bring them somewhere where he didn't have to see them until they had holes in them. The man didn't even flinch, already used to his masters moody tendencies from years of experience with him when he was still a child.

Kurogane hated paperwork. No, he loathed it almost as much as Fei Wang Reed back when the filthy rat was still alive. Sometimes he wished he could get the mage to burn every single document to ashes but he knew that he had to do it. He had to endure the endless scrolls and the countless ink stains on his hands and clothing because he had to somehow keep Suwa from falling to ruin once again.

He sighed and ran a hand through his spiky black hair, red eyes narrowed at the starry sky as if it had something to do with his misfortune. Well…no, it wasn't a misfortune if he was honest with himself. It was the best thing that could have happened to him after everything he had been through over the years. He had everything he could ever wish for. Sure, he missed the brat and the princess - not that he would ever admit it to anyone - but he had all he even needed right here. He had been released from his services for Tomoyo, had been returned to his old home that had been rebuild thanks to Amaterasu, was finally free of Souma's nagging and…he had a home to give to the mage whom he had grown attached to.

His eyes softened slightly at the thought of the blond with his sparkling blue eyes and beautiful smile. He had been able to pull it out from behind all the tight barriers after trying for so long and didn't regret it…not even when his artificial arm burned with pain or when a sudden bout of thirst brought the mage to his rooms, gasping and gagging, to sink his fangs deeply into a tanned wrist. He never regretted anything he did for the moron because he didn't do it exclusively for him…he did it mostly for himself. He knew it was selfish of him but he just couldn't bear the thought of loosing the mage - another thing he would never say out loud even though everyone knew anyways.

Speaking of the mage…where was he? And now that he thought of it, he hadn't seen Tomoyo since he left both of them in the garden. They couldn't possibly be sitting there still…but considering it was them, anything was possible.

He sighed. Well, it was getting late. He should probably check up on them, just to make sure they didn't stay up all night. It wouldn't be a first for the mage to do so and then whine like a puppy when he tried to wake him up in the morning. He opened the shoji door all the way and stepped out onto the wooden deck. It was a beautiful night; warm, sweet smelling and the fireflies were especially lively today. He took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and let it out with a sigh before he started down towards the part of the gardens he had left the two. The cicadas were chirping away happily in the tall grass to his left and when he looked up he could see the stars twinkling behind the barrier the mage had set up just like his mother used to be.

Kurogane smiled softly - not that anyone would ever know - as he remembered the proud look in the blonds eyes. But then his smile fell away and a frown took its place. He had long come to terms with his feelings for the blond, even if he had long tried to ignore them. He knew they were far from friendship and companionship but he wouldn't call it love…because he just couldn't imagine love to feel so pure. He knew about lovers who's love was laced with desire and lust. He felt no such thing. He just wanted the mage to stay by his side so he could make him happy, hold him close when he was afraid, brush his tears away when he cried and take all his worries away. But even though he could see that the mage felt the same, Kurogane didn't act on his feelings. He knew that the blond had a reason to hesitate but he had no idea what that was. He was willing to wait though, until he had made up his mind.

Kurogane could still feel his heart clench whenever the mage pulled away from him or avoided eye contact. He had gotten a lot better since they started their journey with the brat, princess and manjuu but he wasn't completely over everything yet.

Kurogane sighed again and raked a hand through his hair again. Oh, screw it. He could wait, no matter how long it took.

By now he had arrived at the gardens. It was as tranquil as it always was, with the bubbling stream and fountain, the many vibrantly colored flowers. But he still preferred the big, private garden that belonged to the lords quarters. It was a beautiful place with enchanted sakura trees that were in full bloom all year long. The mage had, to this day, refused to set foot into the place, insisting that he didn't belong there. Kurogane disagreed, but that too was something he would wait for.

He shook his head to bring his attention back to the task at hand. He still had to find the two whirlwinds and put them to bet before they broke something…which was bound to happen should they get their hands on any form of alcohol. He remembered the last time the mage had gotten himself drunk. It wasn't a good memory.

Kurogane suppressed a shiver and rounded a corner. And there they were, both of them, apparently sober.

"Oi! Get inside alrea- what's wrong?"

Fai had raised his head in shock, his blue eyes meeting Kuroganes. His face was wet with tears and he shook with loud sobs. Tomoyo sat next to him, looking sheepishly up at him.

"Tomoyo-hime…what did you do?"

"Nothing!" Fai said, hiccuping softly. "She didn't do anything wrong…she actually helped me…" A broken smile crept over his face, more tears falling from his eyes.

Kurogane frowned and glanced from Fai to Tomoyo, who had risen by now.

"I will leave you two now", she said, resting a soft hand on the mage's shoulder. "You have to talk."

And then she was gone.

Fai looked up at Kurogane for a seconds before averting his gaze and looking at his clenched hands. Kurogane scrubbed a hand over his face and flopped down next to him.

"What happened?" he asked.

Fai sniffed slightly but didn't answer for a long moment. Kurogane almost gave up when the mage's shaking voice finally answered.

"Kuro-rin…can I asked you something?"

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "Spill it."

"Why did you do it?"

The second eyebrow joined its brother and Suwa's lord turned, trying to get those blue eyes to look at him. "Why did I do what?"

Fai swallowed. "Why did you save me? In Tokyo and in Celes?"

"I thought we established that", Kurogane answers immediately. "I did it because I didn't want you to die. Simple as that."

"But _why_?" the mage asked, putting extra emphasis on the last word. "Just tell me exactly what you feel about me. Please…I have to know." The last part was whispered and shaking.

Kurogane swallowed but didn't look away. "I…I don't really know how to explain, but I'll try." He took a deep breath before he finally let loose what he had craved to tell Fai for so long. "When we first met I seriously hated your guts. All those stupid nicknames, the idiotic smiles…but when I saw how everything was faked I, well, started to look closer. I wanted to rip that mask away just to see what is underneath it. I didn't give a damn about your past, still don't, but it interested me. Then, after a while, I realized that I stopped being interested but more worried than anything. I put it off as worry for the brats but after I…after I saw the first brat rip your eye out it kinda snapped something inside me. I realized that I started to care about your wellbeing, wanted you to stay alive…and that grew, somehow." He trailed off, eyes never leaving Fai's face. The blue gaze had started to flicker back and forth between him and his hands. Kurogane took another breath to steady himself. "And then, when you started to call me by my real name, I actually wanted to punch you for that more than for the nicknames. I had grown used to them and the yelling was just reflex. And Celes…that's when I realized that losing you was the last thing I ever wanted. I wanted you to stay by my side forever, I wanted you to just live for yourself instead of your dead brother…I was being selfish but I didn't care. And when we got here for the first time and we went back to arguing it felt good. And that's when I realized that…"

He trailed of again and looked Fai in the eyes. The mage was finally looking at him and the hopeful look stole his breath away.

"Realized what?"

Kurogane bit his lip, trying to pull up his gruff exterior, his own version of a mask but it didn't work…so he gave up.

"I realized…that I love you."

A heavy silence settled between them for a few second and then Kurogane found himself with an arm full of blond mage.

"Oh gods…" Fai sobbed into his chest, fingers clenching in the black yukata. "I was really blind, wasn't I?"

The shinobi wrapped his arms around the slim waist and pulled him closer. "What do you mean?" he asked softly.

Fai hiccuped again and extracted himself from the strong arms. "I always thought…it was just me", he confessed. "I always thought that my need to get over the loneliness was to find someone to love me and I saw that in you. But I always tried to convince myself that no one would ever love me…probably because of what happened with me a-and Fai. But it hurt -" a soft sob interrupted him but he caught himself - "to think that I would have to kill you because of Fei Wang or that you'd die because of my curse. And than you had to go and safe my life. But I didn't want to get close to you anymore, because I was already too close. Than you saved me again and I couldn't stay away anymore. But then I heard you give those vows to Tomoyo-chan, I really thought it was all just me. But then she told me…" he said, leaning into the shinobi with a relieved and content sigh. "And now, you did too."

Kurogane grunted affectionately and buried his nose in the soft blond strands, breathing in the sweet scent of fresh snow. "I'm glad to hear that…you moron."

Fai chuckled softly. "You're mean…Kuro-puu~"

"Yeah, I know", Kurogane said smirking. "But you still love me."

Fai leaned into the steel shoulder, his fingers skimming over the cold hand. "Yes…I do."

They looked into each others eyes for a few seconds before Kurogane suddenly leaned down, in a split second decision, and pressed a soft kiss to Fai's lips. It only lasted for a few seconds, chaste and sweet, but it left both of their hearts swelling with warmth.

And when blue locked with red again, they both spoke silent vows to each other. Vows that spoke of the indestructible love and bond they shared. Right now they were the happiest they had ever been in their lives and would do anything to not lose that again.

Under the silver moon, they vowed to never let go…and the moon shone for them.

...

"You're still mean though, Kuromuu~!"

"Shut up!"


End file.
